Ali. Her heart warmed simply from looking at him. She loved children; it was a given since she was a kindergarten teacher, but this one was special. She handed a paper napkin across the red plastic table top to her five-year-old foster son and student. "Hey, soldier, you missed a big spot on your chin."

He grinned, the charmer he was, showing his heart-tugging grin and the dimple in his left cheek. He scrubbed at the wrong spot on his chin.

Adoration filled her like Texas sunshine. She leaned forward, reaching over the remnants of their sundaes to rub at the right spot. Two swipes and the kid was clean. What a godsend this sweetheart was. He was the balm her wounded heart had needed. She piled the used napkins into his wiped clean plastic sundae dish and slid hers beneath it. "Are you ready?"

Ali hopped down from his chair. "Yep. Can I call Dr. Mike yet?"

Mike. She tried not to flinch at that name.

"He hasn't called," Ali added. "He's comin' home, you know."

"Yes, I heard something like that."

"'Cuz I tole you."

"About a thousand times." She managed to keep a smile on her face as she stood. "All right, sunshine, we have errands to do."

"Me and Dr. Mike are gonna get pizza and do lotza stuff. We're buddies."

"Yes, you are." And wasn't that the problem? Sarah focused on her little boy and pretended he hadn't reminded her about Mike. Distraction, that was the key. "Which do you want to do first? Pick out our Christmas lights or mail our Christmas cards?"

"The lights!"

What a cutie. Her heart melted a little more. Already he was her family. She couldn't wait for the adoption to go through and then he would be hers. Really and truly hers. "Coat on and zipped up. There's a cold wind out there."

"Yes ma'am." Ali hopped down and his bright red sneakers--his favorite color--hit the floor with a squeak and a thump. His salute was the one Dr. Mike Montgomery had taught him. The two had met when Ali came in as a roadside bomb casualty to Mike's MASH unit. The child had been injured, but his mother had been killed. Ali had formed a bond with Mike at the MASH unit, where Mike had recommended to send Ali to the states for lifesaving surgery.

Her heart twisted with an old pain. She and Mike may have parted ways a year ago, but losing him would always hurt. She tucked that hurt away the best she could and put what she hoped was a big smile on her face.

"I get that." The little gentleman he was, Ali grabbed their garbage.

"Thank you." Sarah unhooked her jacket from the back of her chair and slipped into it, unable to take her eyes off the little boy as he trotted over to the receptacle near the door. He had to go up on tiptoe to dump it.

She hefted the shopping bags from beneath their table, slid her purse strap higher on her shoulder and held out her hand to her foster son. She was thankful every day that he was thriving, after all his losses. His grandfather Marion, who lived next door, had passed away last month. And while Ali had little time to get to know his grandfather, it was a loss all the same.

There were still shadows of his grief in his eyes that were always there, even when he smiled. Poor baby. She ran her fingertips through his fine dark brown hair, hoping to comfort what could not be fixed.

"I get the door for you, Sarah." Ali trotted ahead of her, his sneakers thumping on the tile. He gave the door a mighty push.

"Thanks, kiddo. You are one strong boy," she complimented him as she sailed into the crisp overcast day and the busy sidewalk.

"I real strong now." Ali beamed with pride. His little fingers wrapped around her hand, holding on so tight she could feel his need.

She held on tightly too.

"Sarah, look!" Ali fastened his deep soulful eyes on a soldier in desert fatigues, who was walking down the sidewalk. The little boy turned on his heels to watch the infantryman stride away. "I'm gonna be a soldier and a doctor, just like Dr. Mike."

Mike. Sarah staggered. They said time healed all wounds, so why not this one? Ali was the bright spot in her heart and she thanked the Lord daily for the blessings of him in her life. The only downside to having this wonderful boy was his hero worship of Dr. Mike Montgomery, who was her ex-fiancé. Although more than a year had passed since their break-up, thinking of him could still suffocate her with sadness.

Her knees shook with every step she took. How long did it take a broken heart to mend? How long for regret to fade away without a scar? It took all her strength to swallow her sadness and hide every bit of her pain. "You couldn't pick a better man to be like."

"I know." Ali's confidence was simple and unshakable.

Hers was not so sturdy. Life had not been the same without Mike. She missed him like the ocean would miss the shore. Still, she had done her best to make something of her life without him.

She knew Ali's next question would be about Dr. Mike, too. The boy was nothing if not persistent. Maybe it was best to try to distract him. "What color house lights should we buy?"

"Red." He thought a minute, tilting his head to one side. "No, wait. I want blue."

Sarah smiled. Ali lifted the sadness from her heart. Since this was his first American Christmas--and their first one together--she wanted to do it right. That's what she had to concentrate on; what mattered to her now.

"Dr. Mike!" Ali ripped his hand from hers and barreled down the sidewalk, darting between families and moms with kids and a group of teenagers.

He moved fast for a boy who'd just recovered from open-heart surgery! Sarah leaped after him, bags slapping against her knees as she caught up with him two steps before the busy intersection. She grabbed his hand, but Ali, the good smart little boy he was, was already stopping on his own.

Before she could drag enough air past the panic clutching her throat and the stitch in her side to set him straight about running off like that, Ali jumped up and down, waving his free hand.

"Dr. Mike! There's Dr. Mike!"

Sarah squinted across the street of traffic searching the pedestrians for him. For Mike. All it took was one second for her gaze to go automatically to him. Perhaps she would always recognize his straight strong back and wide, dependable shoulders, his short, dark blond hair and that confident, lanky stride.

Mike. Her pulse ground to a halt. All the ways she'd fallen out of love with him paled next to all the reasons she had. He hadn't heard Ali's call above the rush of the traffic as he stopped to look at a shop's window display. She could see his profile now; his handsome face was still the same with that square, honorable jaw and well-cut features.

What a relief it was to see him again. Her toes tingled with happiness, warring impossibly with her sadness. He was back safe, unharmed, and whole.

Thank you, Lord. She sent the little prayer up with a piece of her heart. Just because Mike wasn't hers anymore didn't mean she couldn't pray for him. His happiness was more important than her own--even now. She had tried to talk herself out of her feelings, but they hadn't budged over the last year that he'd been away. Perhaps because of the way they had broken up right before he had gone off to war.

And now that she knew he was back home and unharmed, maybe she could let go of this sorrow. She planted her feet, hitched her purse back up on her shoulder and tightened her hold on Ali's hand. The light chose that moment to change to yellow and on to red. The traffic slowed and quieted, and Ali's "Dr. Mike!" must have reached the other side of the street because Mike looked up at the sound of his name. His eyes fastened to hers just the way he used to do, when their hearts and souls were one.

It was a nostalgic yearning for what was gone; that's what she told herself as she jerked her gaze from his. That's the only reason she could give to explain the startle in her heart that felt, impossibly, like joy at seeing him again. The sadness, which had haunted her for the last year, was gone.

I do not love him, she told herself. This was not love she felt. She wouldn't let it be. She wished Mike well and that was all, nothing more and she would walk Ali right over to Mike and prove it to him.

And to herself.

Sarah. Mike stared in disbelief and then in dread as she started heading his way, with Ali's hand in hers. As she crossed the busy crosswalk, he had time to take her in. She looked different somehow, changed from the woman he'd been in love with for so long. Her auburn hair was the same deep color and shone like silk in the afternoon sun.

She was still as lovely and as sweet he'd remembered with her big blue eyes, soft and ready smile and dainty innocence. She was wearing the wool coat she'd bought new around this time last year, right before they'd broken up. He couldn't quite put his thumb on what exactly was different, but everything about her appeared a little brighter.

At the back of his mind came a small voice, one he didn't want to listen to. It was saying, she looks so good to you because you missed her so much.

No, that was one voice he could not afford to listen to or encourage. He held his heart firm, dissolving away any lingering emotion. It was over and done with between him and Sarah. What he needed to focus on instead of their past was his little buddy--the boy he'd come to think of as a son.

It was a gift that Ali had come into his life. They'd had an instant connection in triage, when the med surg nurse had called him over with worry in her eyes. Worry for a child caught in the middle of warfare. Ali had become his family over the last five months.

He thought of the paperwork he had on his truck seat, ready for his lawyer. Ali's adoption papers. He wanted the little boy with everything he had left. This last tour had taken out a big chunk of him, but that didn't matter now.

"Hello, Mike." Sarah's quiet, sweet voice could reach right in and grab hold of his heart if he let it.

"Hello, Sarah." He couldn't look at her. Time had not healed the grief. He squared his shoulders, at a loss. Maybe he ought to just concentrate on Ali. The little dark-haired, dark-eyed boy was running toward him. True joy lit that little face.

"Dr. Mike! You came! You came!"

"Sure I did, buddy. Just like I promised. I didn't forget you." All the pain and exhaustion from this last year seemed to fade as the little boy flung out his arms and launched into the air. The world felt right as he caught the little fella in mid-air and swung him high before snuggling him to his chest.

Thin arms wrapped around Mike's neck so tight, it hurt. Emotions warred within him and he held those down too. He set the boy on the ground. "Let me get a look at you. You're gettin' big."

"Cuz I eat my veggies. But not broccoli." He shook his head. The two of them shared a great mutual dislike of that green vegetable.

"I told Sarah you come." Ali danced in place he was so happy. "You didn't call. I waited and waited. There was no ringing."

"Sorry about that." Mike swallowed, battling down the last of his emotions.

"I told him you were probably busy." Sarah spoke up in that quiet way of hers.

Her calm serene tone could lure him closer if he let it. Good thing he was a soldier and could stand his ground. Although he had to clear his throat. Standing his ground wasn't easy.

"I heard Whitney is back home and in the hospital." Sarah tried again to make conversation.

"You know Whitney Harpswell?" He spoke to her, but he kept staring at the crack in the sidewalk.

"Two girls in my class chose them for the 'Adopt a Soldier' program, and we were writing to them before they disappeared." Sarah was genuinely concerned. "I heard that you found her."

"No, she was found by some villager women over there. They brought her to my MASH unit. I just recognized her." He resisted the need to look at Sarah and studied the boy instead. Ali's color was good. His energy level was good. His respiration came clear and even. He'd heard reports through the local surgeon handling Ali's case, of course, and had talked to the boy as often as he could get enough free time to make it to the phone banks, but seeing was believing. There was nothing like being able to watch the little boy hop eagerly in place to make the knot of worry relax in the center of his chest.

He wasn't a religious man, but he gave thanks right then and there standing in the middle of the street. He thanked God the boy had pulled through his risky surgery two months ago. He thought of all the others he'd treated--both soldier and civilian alike---in the sandbox who had not been so fortunate. Right from the start there had been something incredibly special about this plucky boy.

That boy was staring up at Mike with his wide, soulful eyes. "How come you didn't call? Why?"

Talk about feeling like a heel. Mike jammed his fists into his coat pocket and did his best to ignore Sarah standing protectively behind the boy. "I couldn't. I was on a plane flying home. I wanted to talk to you. You understand, right?"

"Okay. You gonna call me today?" Hope brightened the boy. "When?"

"I'm seeing you right now." Mike laughed as he scrubbed his hand over the kid's short brown hair. "Isn't that enough?"

"You gonna see me?" Hope lit the boy up like Christmas. "When?"

The kid wasn't understanding him. Mike shook his head, finding gentleness for the boy, gentleness wasn't something he was good at. He felt awkward as he knelt down. He could feel the weight of Sarah's gaze and he ignored it. He focused on what mattered--this kid was going to be his son. "Sorry, buddy, this is it."

"But you said today." Ali cocked his head. His forehead scrunched up in thought. "You can come see me later. For supper? Sarah's gonna make my second favorite."

Macaroni and cheese, hotdogs and green beans. Mike didn't even have to ask. It had been his plan to stop by the commissary on the way to his duplex. Those foods, along with pizza, were at the top of his shopping list. He didn't know how long it would take to get custody of the boy, but Mike liked being prepared. Now, if only he could keep ignoring the sensation of Sarah's gaze.

No such luck. He drew in a breath, gathered his courage and turned to face her. It took all his strength to keep the past from flashing through his mind, but it did anyway. Remembering that rainy October night as he'd stood huddled beneath her porch roof, wet with rain and ripped apart by her quiet words telling him it was over. Pain hit him, as fresh as a new wound.

Let it go, man. He squared his shoulders, met her gaze and held his heart cement-still. Let her see the man he was today. Resolute, unaffected and completely over her.

Was that a hint of panic flitting across her delicate features? He shifted his weight and stared down the sidewalk. Folks kept swerving around them, hurrying on with their lives. It felt surreal to stand here on a safe, Texas street when a few days ago he had been surrounded by helicopters and artillery fire.

He started walking back a step. Unaffected, that's what he was. As cold as stone. "Don't worry, Sarah. I'll explain it to him."

"No, uh, Mike, I'm just--" She looked a little helpless, as if she were having a hard time wrestling with all of this. Her hand went to Ali's shoulder, a protective, motherly gesture, and he had never seen her eyes so sad.

He had to fight the natural urge to make it easier for her. He stormed over to the hardware store's glass door and yanked it open. All he'd ever wanted to do was to make things easier for her, but it was no longer his duty. He forced back any stray feelings of caring. This was the woman who hadn't wanted him. He couldn't look past that. "Forget it, Sarah. You don't owe me any explanations. Ali, I promise I'll call you tonight, buddy."

"No, you're comin' to eat mac 'n cheese, remember?"

Mike let the door swing closed. As much as he had to walk away from Sarah, he had to set things right with the kid. He owed that to the boy. He ran his hand over Ali's dark brown hair and ruffled it. "I can't make it tonight, buddy."

"You can't?" Some of the sparkle slid from the boy's midnight dark eyes. "How come?"

Easy to see all the way to that kid's heart. Mike gulped, seeing the disappointment set in. "I'm sorry, but that's just the way it's gotta be."

"O-kay." The boy's shoulders slumped. "Can you come tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?" Mike crooked one eyebrow in surprise. How could he make the boy understand? He knelt down so he was eye level with the kid. But where did his gaze go?

To Sarah, standing on the busy sidewalk, next to the hardware's front window displaying Christmas paraplegia, keeping just enough distance to make it clear she wanted nothing to do with him.

Fine. He set his chin and pulled his errand list from his pocket. Let her see that he had gone on with his life. He squinted into the glare of the sun. Sarah had torn out his heart thirteen months ago when he'd decided to re-up. She had refused to wait for him. She had never loved him enough, not in the end. Not in the ways that mattered.

"Dr. Mike?" Ali tugged on Mike's coat sleeve. "You don't like mac 'n cheese?"

Mike gulped. He was capable of long, unrelenting shifts in the E.R., he didn't bat an eyelash when mortar rounds vibrated through the floor in his operating room, but having to see the hurt etched on the boy's face made his knees weak.

"I think there is only one solution and you're not going to like it." Sarah shook her head slowly, looking beautiful with the wind in her soft auburn hair and sadness vibrant in her jeweled blue eyes.

Remember, she means nothing to you. He glanced at his list as if that were much more important than she had ever been to him. "I can't come to supper. I just got back."

"Today?"

"Mid-morning." His answer came clipped and terse.

"You probably have a lot to do to get settled."

"I do." His answer was clipped; as if he thought she was dismissing him.

"You probably have to run errands. Buy groceries."

"You know I do." He jammed both hands into his coat pockets.

There was no avoiding the truth that Mike was back in town, that they would be running into him inevitably from time to time, for Prairie Springs was a small hometown. Ali would never stop adoring his hero, the man who had saved his life when he had been all along.

It was hard for her, too. Every time she looked at this man, she saw that hero, too. She also saw the man she had once given everything in her heart to--and it hadn't been enough. It was hard to breathe past the ache that put in her throat. Longing for what they'd lost returned like a category five hurricane.

The past is over, Sarah. You have to accept it. She took Ali by the hand. She had to be practical now. She had to accept that he adored Mike. Denying the doctor who had been his rock would only hurt Ali. That was not something she would do. But the alternative--the solution--was going to be hard for her. Terribly hard.

She eyed the doctor standing before her as objectively as possible. Travel fatigue lined his strong, handsome face and bruised the skin beneath his eyes.

Just say it, Sarah. She took a breath, gathered her courage and prayed that she sounded composed. Indifferent. Over him. "You may as well come for dinner tonight--"

"Yaaaaay!" Ali whooped, already looking just like any other American kid with his fist in the air and happiness on his face.

"Hold on there. I haven't answered yet." Mike chuckled in that warm, low rumble she had once loved so well. He was careful not to look directly at her. "Are you sure, Sarah?"

"It's for Ali's sake. We both understand that." Ali may be jubilant, but Sarah felt the thunk of inevitability. She had been trying to prepare herself for this and there was still no way around it. Seeing how Mike was careful to keep distance between them, to be polite to her and reserved, made her think of all that had changed between them. All that she had lost--no, erase that--all that they both had lost.

Handle this as you would any other guest coming to supper, Sarah thought. If Mike wasn't Mike but anyone else, what would she be saying right now? How would she be acting? Warmly, that's how. Friendly. She managed a small smile that she hoped was both. "We usually eat around five. Is that too early for you?"

"Nope. I'll be there." He gave her a curt nod.

Nothing personal in that nod. They would look like strangers standing on the street to anyone passing by. Strangers. The way it had to be, apparently. Nothing could make her sadder.

"That's when the big hand's on twelve and the little hand's on five." Ali couldn't help demonstrating his new knowledge.

"Very good, buddy." Mike smiled in that genuine, amazing way that made his hazel eyes golden. "I'll see you when the big hand's on twelve and the little hand's on five. Deal?"

"Deal." Ali's grin couldn't be any wider.

"You be good for Sarah until then, ya hear?" His voice dipped kindly, rumbling deep in his chest.

Sarah held her heart very, very still.

Ali held up one hand to wave. "Bye, Dr. Mike. See you later alligator."

"I'll see y'all later," he called over his shoulder, striding fast. His wide-set shoulders and tall rangy build cast a shadow at her feet, striding away with him. Each step took him farther away.

Sarah didn't know why that struck her. Mike had been so far away for so long that distance between them was nothing new. It had happened well before he had decided to re-up and tear their love apart.

Of course, it had all been her fault. Hers. She had laid down the ultimatum for him to marry her or re-enlist. She had known how committed he was to serving his country. Hadn't she known down deep that Mike had never loved her that much?

The proof of it was walking away, taking a part of her with him.

No amount of determination, dignity or willpower could change the truth--the truth she was just now seeing. She wasn't over Mike Montgomery after all. Not a little bit, not even close.

"Sarah?" Ali's hand caught hers and held on so tight. "Dr. Mike is great. I love him."

I do, too. She tore her gaze away from the man, still visible among the sidewalk full of holiday shoppers. She turned her back and she still felt that awful longing. It was as if her spirit could sense him and would always miss the sweetness of his love.

Sarah drew in a shaky breath. "Let's get the rest of our errands done so we have time to make dessert."

"Can we have cupcakes? With lotza frosting?"

"You got it, kiddo." She tightened her grip on Ali's hand, which was tucked so trustingly in hers, and led him down the sidewalk.